


BITTER; EREN JAEGER

by keiitsu



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AOT S4 SPOILERS, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Armin cares about the reader and Eren a lot, Armin is a squad leader, Eren Yeager is a Little Shit, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Inspired by a Eren playlist + two other songs, Kissing, M/M, Memories, Older Eren Yeager, Sassy Armin Arlert, The reader is literally so in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:28:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28788717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keiitsu/pseuds/keiitsu
Summary: “Well, the answer is to be seen if you would kindly step up and flash your lantern at this particular cell block.” He gestures to an outline of silver, illuminated by a faint orange light emitting from your lantern. You nod and swallow thickly, taking meticulous steps towards the cell in case your section leader was plotting to murder you with a small beast.Well, you underestimated the small portion of that statement—he was a beast nonetheless; but he was rather docile as he slept, eyes fluttered shut and his lips in a loose line. There Eren Jaeger laid in all his traitorous glory, his stubble long gone as his lengthy hair messily sprawled out on the pillow beneath him. You blink once. Then twice. Then blood and bile rise from your veins and your stomach, almost forcing you to lurch if not for your bubbling anger against the sleeping man before you.
Relationships: Eren Yeager/Reader, Eren Yeager/You
Comments: 3
Kudos: 74





	BITTER; EREN JAEGER

**Author's Note:**

> please check the end notes for a thank you!
> 
> INSPIRED BY: falling in love with eren jaeger <3 by !kt  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1PbC28pJMOJVxvnLsxik7E?si=LyfbP7f8SL2OP0c775SxGg
> 
> thank you for inspiring me to make this. i was listening to roslyn and a flurry of emotions came to me, especially ones that gave me scenarios in which the reader and eren are lovers and they’re terrified and angry and sad, etc. 
> 
> happy reading!

You snap the journal shut, scurrying after your blonde friend as he walks down the corridor with his hands intertwined behind his back. You both share a comfortable silence— neither one of you spoke, but neither felt the string of tension pull the hem of your uniforms. The sounds that brought you comfort were nearly sounds of your impending doom; if one can call it that. 

Armin made quick haste of opening the wooden door, revealing a set of stairs that became enveloped by the darkness beneath as the angle continued to scale downwards. You gulp, taking the lit lantern from the table next to the doors before following him down the prison stairs. You keep trotting along, following Armin like some lost puppy, as your eyes trail from one cell block to another; scrutinizing each small space to find no one occupying it. 

“May I ask why we’re here, Arlert?” You inquire lightly, raising the lantern albeit slightly to see somewhat above you. Armin’s face reads curiosity but concern, his ocean-like irises reflecting the amber flame rising within your glass lantern. He wordlessly places a hand on your shoulder, giving it a small pit-pat, before smiling wryly at your confused expression. 

“Well, the answer is to be seen if you would kindly step up and flash your lantern at this particular cell block.” He gestures to an outline of silver, illuminated by a faint orange light emitting from your lantern. You nod and swallow thickly, taking meticulous steps towards the cell in case your section leader was plotting to murder you with a small beast. 

Well, you underestimated the small portion of that statement—he was a beast nonetheless; but he was rather docile as he slept, eyes fluttered shut and his lips in a loose line. There Eren Jaeger laid in all his traitorous glory, his stubble long gone as his lengthy hair messily sprawled out on the pillow beneath him. You blink once. Then twice. Then blood and bile rise from your veins and your stomach, almost forcing you to lurch if not for your bubbling anger against the sleeping man before you. 

Eren Jaeger. The leader of the Jaegerists, a group filled with disloyal Marleyans and vengeful Eldians as a resort to protect Paradis, while eradicating all other societies aside from it. The same man you’ve grown to work with ever since you were a blockhead of a teenager; the man that grabbed your flushed face as he plunged his lips deep into yours near a lake on a chilly December night. He was here, relaxed and less hostile than you remember; but saying you were relieved would be a lie. You wanted nothing more than to straddle this man’s hips and watch as his skin morphs from a beautiful olive to a sickening blue. 

“Arlert. Why is he here.” It came out more as a statement than a question, your venomous tone creeping into each syllable drawn by your mouth. Armin flinched albeit lightly—section leader or not, you were still his senior and you were much too intimidating for him to cross. Armin shuffled awkwardly before staring holes into the concrete below him. 

“I just—you weren’t here when we apprehended him. You were unconscious once that little girl shot Sasha..” He trails off, unsure of what to say other than that. You hum in understanding, before snapping your head towards him. A storm brewed within your brain; the fact that Armin led you here irked you greatly. Large strides replaced your meek steps, and in a matter of milliseconds, your nose was bumped against his roughly. He flinched, but never spoke against it as he understood why poison seeped out of your pores. 

“You think I would care about this criminal? We have him holed up in here for a damn reason, Arlert! You must be out of your mind if you think I should give a damn about someone who chose freedom over family!” You bite, your voice raising with each word you spat on his pale face. Betrayal was apparent on your features. The blonde deducted that you pushed away your feelings of admiration and desire for the man present in front of you, replacing it with a false sense of anger. Armin steps back and looks at you with a steely gaze, his annoyance paralleling your anger. 

“Criminal or not, Eren is—was once one of our friends, and believe it or not, [Name], but I seem to recall you harboring the strongest of feelings for our ‘criminal’ friend over here.” He gestures to the unconscious figure near you as he turns to the side, his face visible in your direction. Armin stared silently before letting out an exasperated sigh. “Sorry. As I said before, Eren is forever our friend, in death or life. Mikasa and I care about him as much as you love him, [Name], and if we can treat him sensibly through these times of betrayal, you should too.” 

He leaves no room for argument as he hastily leaves you behind, his boots clacking against the concrete ground. You glare at the wall before letting a loud huff out, your neck swiveling to meet Eren, who you expected to stay asleep throughout the ordeal, only to find him sitting up with an amused smile spread widely on his lips. You scowl. 

“I take it you heard everything I said about you to Arlert?” You scoff. “What an unsurprising feat. You always had a knack for pretending and eavesdropping, ever since we were teenagers.” You step closer, the dim light illuminating more of his cubicle, the warm colors of the flame licking at his cheeks. Eren maintained his cheeky grin, staring at you as you stare back in silence.

“I’m hurt that you think I’m a criminal.” His smile widens further before simmering into a slight frown. His dull orbs shoot into your soul, sending you into a pool full of memories. “I’m doing this to protect you. Why can’t you see? No matter what I do, it’s for you and everyone else.” He abruptly rises from his cot and stalks towards you, his rough hands grasping the metal bars. He was no more than a few inches away from you, causing you to stumble backwards. He peered down at you, his frown pressing deeper into the crevices of his cheeks. 

“I suppose you don’t see it that way; but then again you never saw anything I did as right.” The bitter words stung your heart. He was wrong—you admired him deeply, and that soon developed into intense feelings that he eventually reciprocated. You were only extremely worried for his mental state; so you often chastised him for his reckless actions. You suppose it was bad judgement on your part. What would change if you just accepted that Eren did those things for a reason? Would he have landed in this confined room regardless? The regret pinched and tugged at your heart. 

You remembered Armin’s words before he left you in the dark. No matter who Eren may be in the present, he was and will forever be a Survey Corps member, a soldier of war. He will always be on your side no matter what he is fighting for—because in simplicity, Eren is just that kind of guy. He cares about you, about the remaining members of the Survey Corps, about his home here in Paradis. Putting down the lantern, you gather your courage to speak and open your mouth, barreling yourself towards his direction.

“That’s simply not true!” You shout, grabbing the spot underneath his hands. You were able to feel the warmth radiating from his skin, feeling the itch to interlace your fingers with his. You gulp before looking up, eyes welting, “I loved—love you, Eren. I never said I hadn’t appreciated the things you did for me. I was disapproving of your actions because they were careless, Eren! You almost get killed every single time we do a mission, do you not understand? You are a blockhead, a suicidal maniac! Titan shifter or not, if you get hit somewhere vital, it’s over, don’t you see? Losing you is my greatest fear, Jaeger. But it seems like you can’t choose to see it my way.” 

You sense his pinky brushing against yours, causing a flurry of heat to spread within your body. You give in to the urge to hold his hand, your hands meeting halfway. His calloused hands roughly grab yours with slight desperation, as if he was holding onto the only thing keeping him sane. You almost break down upon meeting his touch, watching as he takes shaky breaths while staring at your hands. 

“Would you feel the same if I tore up a whole society to see you again and raise a child—our child? Even if I have less than five years left to live? Would you say that to me then?” Eren whispers, vulnerable and broken. He exposed the broken, fearful little boy you haven’t seen since squad Levi’s death. You clench his hands tighter, staring at him intently. “Would you?” He raised his voice. 

“Murder a society? Why would I ever be proud of you for killing innocent people? You will be condemned, and no one will look at you as a hero of humanity. There is nothing astounding about the genocide of millions of innocent souls, all for a thousand or so people.” You shakily sigh. Eren’s hold goes limp, disappointed by your lack of support. You’re quick to keep his hand from falling to his sides, stroking the veins of his hand with your thumb. “But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love you less, Eren. You’re on your own for this. But please, Eren, live. I want to be with you someday. I want to hold you close and feel you again. I can’t promise that we won’t be fighting again in the future. But I promise you that I will live.” You exhale, peering at him through a curtain of bangs. His eyes are wide, lips drawn open. He’s staring at you like he had when you first met; intrigued, infatuated, in love. His grip strengthens, tugging you to go closer. 

Your lips were forcefully brought together, the bittersweet feeling of his skin on yours being the last moments of your weakened love. The cell bars pressed against your skin as you kissed, giving nothing but slight discomfort. His tongue swipes along your bottom lip, asking for permission. You permit his entrance, engaging in a dance between your muscles. His tongue flicked against yours in a battle of dominance, causing you to yield and relish in the sensation of him holding you closer to his body. The pleasurable feeling didn’t last long, however, as he pulled away, a string of saliva connecting your lips together. You stare at his complexion, ethereal under the color of warm embers. His turquoise irises reflected the light, flickering through a set of conflicting emotions. He steps back, and so do you; a quiet goodbye. 

“Please live.” You whisper, letting go of his hand. “I love you so much, Eren Jaeger. I always will.” 

He watches stoically as you grab the lantern you previously set on the ground. His mouth thins into a hard line, watching as your face contorts into an expression of pain. He too, felt the harsh sting of fleeting love clench at his broken heart. He sighs, tearing his attention away from you and onto the wall next to him. 

“I love you. See you on the battlefield.” He bids you his final goodbye, closing his eyes tight as your touch leaves his. Now empty, you both stare at each other longingly, a vast array of emotions flaring within your chest. You reiterate your earlier statement to make him remember his oath. 

“Whatever the outcome, we should not be bitter. We should, however, come out alive, and one day start a family before you pass. Keep this promise deep within your heart Jaeger. Promise me you won’t die, and I’ll give you the same oath.” 

He nods, and a bitter taste settles on your tongue. You don’t know if you’ll come out alive. Eren is a titan shifter, which means he can regenerate every wound as long as it isn’t too severe. However, you were nothing but human. You could lose several limbs and die within a minute. You were not immune, and that made the promise all the more impossible to carry on. You’re nothing short of terrified; you want nothing but to run into the cell block and leap into his arms, but your destinies were laid out for you. He was to become your greatest enemy, and you were about to become one of humanity’s greatest sacrifices. 

“Alright,” You sigh, “I promise too. See you soon.” You languidly blow him a kiss, your lips pursed as an effort to keep your waterworks from flowing. You walk away, the warm flame leaving his wistful expression to be enveloped by the dark. You scuttle up the stairs before shutting the door, sliding down the door frame as you let out a loud cry, fearful and angry.

You were angry at Eren’s decision to become a villain just to keep everyone he loves alive. You were angry at yourself for falling in love with someone who slipped through the cracks of sanity, turning to ethnic genocide to free this cruel world of torment and pain. The rumbling was to commence sometime soon, and you knew that one day you would have to accept that one of you would not live to see the day, whether it be in battle or in peace. The waterworks you resisted were now flowing freely down your red cheeks, dripping onto the wooden floor as you dig your fingernails into the palm of your hands. This wasn’t fair to you. This wasn’t fair to him, or anyone. This world was not created for love; it was created for many generations to fear and gossip about; it was only a world where constant war existed. 

_ Let’s not be bitter, no matter the outcome.  _

You’re more than willing to accept your fate.

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU FOR REACHING THE END OF THIS ONE-SHOT!
> 
> i’m not particularly good at writing anymore, as i lost the ability to maintain my motivation and thus always losing work quality. i’m also not too good at writing angst, but i hope this satiates your taste though! 
> 
> i’m working on a levi & armin fic so please, if you like my work, please leave kudos! thank you :D
> 
> follow my other socials!  
> @flaerei on instagram  
> @-florynn on wattpad 
> 
> thank you so much! 
> 
> -floryn <3


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